Wanna Know a Secret? Day 11

So here's the thing...

I may come off as brave, and spontaneous, and free....

But I'm not...In fact I'm anxious

ALL THE TIME

I know kittens...WTF does this have to do with yoga?

A lot actually

Yoga teaches me to be still, breathe, and be present, which helps me calm down when a panic attack comes.

But sometimes....it doesn't.

In fact, sometimes yoga just makes it worse. It's hot, it smells funny, sometimes people sweat on me, I hyperventilate, and it takes everything in my power to not run away screaming.

But the point of this story is that I DON'T.

I sit there, I take deep breaths, I sip water, and I tell myself that I'm fine.

I'm in my yoga cocoon and I rationalize by telling myself I've only seen one person ever throw up in hot yoga and she was a DIRTY HIPSTER so that doesn't even count cause there's no such thing as a BLIPSTER, and if there was I'm nowhere near cool enough to be one if there was, and....

By the time I get to this thought I realize that I'm being a crazy spaz, and If nothing else, I've forgotten why I was anxious in the first place, and more importantly I'm self-conscious because I feel like everyone is looking at me because I'm just sitting here and we haven't even finished the standing series...

I rise, and jump back in at the next posture....

Namaste,

Brown Girl