Wanna Know a Secret? Day 11

So here's the thing...

I may come off as brave, and spontaneous, and free....

But I'm not...In fact I'm anxious

ALL THE TIME

I know kittens...WTF does this have to do with yoga?

A lot actually

Yoga teaches me to be still, breathe, and be present, which helps me calm down when a panic attack comes.

But sometimes....it doesn't.

In fact, sometimes yoga just makes it worse. It's hot, it smells funny, sometimes people sweat on me, I hyperventilate, and it takes everything in my power to not run away screaming.

But the point of this story is that I DON'T.

I sit there, I take deep breaths, I sip water, and I tell myself that I'm fine.

I'm in my yoga cocoon and I rationalize by telling myself I've only seen one person ever throw up in hot yoga and she was a DIRTY HIPSTER so that doesn't even count cause there's no such thing as a BLIPSTER, and if there was I'm nowhere near cool enough to be one if there was, and....

By the time I get to this thought I realize that I'm being a crazy spaz, and If nothing else, I've forgotten why I was anxious in the first place, and more importantly I'm self-conscious because I feel like everyone is looking at me because I'm just sitting here and we haven't even finished the standing series...

I rise, and jump back in at the next posture....

Namaste,

Brown Girl

Day 10: Wednesday Yoga Sutra Lesson: 1.2

Yogas-citta-vrtti-nirodhah

Yoga is the restriction of the fluctuations of consciousness. 

Yoga Sutra 1.2 is all about consciousness. 

But what is consciousness, and what's it got to do with yoga? 

The better you understand consciousness the easier time you'll have in all aspects of your life. 

Citta (pronounced CHIT-ah) has two main parts: 

The first is content. 

The way you perceive an object person, thing, feeling, or dream flows through Citta constantly, deciding whether you'll be a Negative Nancy or a Super Sweet Samantha. 

The second is Drashtri 

(pronounced DRASH-tree) means"the seer". This is the part that helps you see what's flowing through the citta. You can't have consciousness without it. 

Think about it like this: 

If I throw you in a pitch-black, dark room a la a Saw movie, where you're unable to see or feel around, you wouldn't be able to describe the room once you escaped to the cops right?

Well the contents of Citta would be hidden from our view without Drashtri too.

What's inside Citta is always changing but the seer always keeps it real and never changes. It will always show you the truth. 

It just provides the light for you to see what's already there, no extras. According to Patanjali's yoga the seer is your authentic self. Yoga shows you how to see this for yourself. 

Everything you need is right there in front of you if only you're willing to see it.

Did I just blow your mind, kittens?

Namaste,

Brown Girl

Day 9: Yoga Spider

So this morning I came into the studio and began to roll out my mat and towel in preparation for my practice when I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. There was still a few minutes before the session began and there was only one other person in the room lying on their mat with their eyes closed.

I looked down at the grey spider sprinting (remarkably quickly across the floor). I sear he paused, checked me out, rolled his eyes and kept it moving in the other direction toward the mirror at the front of the room. I thought seriously about squashing him for a moment and then decided against it. I mean it's got to be bad form to kill things in a yoga studio right? Besides, I had to leave my shoes out front before class so when I'd decided he was a safe distance away I settled onto my mat for class.

First breathing exercise there I am making the loud HA sound, fogging up the imaginary mirror with my breath like I'm supposed to and what not...and then I spot him. The same spider, darts across my reflection in the mirror, zagging sharply to the left corner of the mirror before I lose site of him again.

"Get it together, B" I tell myself. I sneak a peak over to my teacher when I notice him walking purposefully toward the mirror. I release my arms down by my side in relief as I prepare for the next posture, confident that he's going to capture the interloper and escort him to the windows.

I peak over again just in time to see the teacher turning on his heels before he reaches the mirror. Maybe the little guy has decided that it's entirely too hot for these games and has retreated to a cooler location. I turn around, lie down, take savasana when I spot him just as he's rounding the corner into my field of vision.

I'm straining my abs and craning my neck trying to keep an eye on the spider, who I'm convinced is posturing and taunting me every time the teacher looks away. I try to remember the intention I set this morning before I saw him and realize I never set one. Every drop of sweat that rolls down my skin is eight tiny legs marching across my skin. I breath in and out of my nose evenly and try to find my focus, desperately trying to be present.

You're probably wondering what the point of this little story is but the joke's on you...cause there isn't one!

Day 9 complete!

See you tomorrow, kiddies!

Namaste,

Brown Girl

60 Day Yoga Challenge

So here's the deal. Those of you that know me know that I'm a quitter. It's true. I'm Jill of all trades, master of absolutely none. Once my indecisive little tail decides to do something I'm obsessed. Then, a few weeks later, when the excitement wears off I'm full of excuses and on to the next...kind of like this blog which I posted to like three times before this.

I know, I know..what the hell are you talking about Brown Girl? I've got a new project and I'm hell bent on seeing it through, but I can't do it alone. I need your help people! I'm so serious about this that I waited until my eighth straight day until I even mentioned it.

So I'm turning 30 on July 13th, 2012 and I've decided to do something special. Not to worry friends, I'm still going to drink my face off, but first I'm going to do some yoga...a lot of yoga!

OK, OK....It's more like this....

OK, so...I'm doing a 60 day yoga challenge. I know you're probably calling bullsh*t, but I'm dead serious. I started on May 13th and I'm still going strong. I'm going to drag my lazy, wine guzzling, brown tail to yoga every day until I take that dirty 30 Savasana. 






So let's make this interesting shall we?  Ladies and gentlemen, place your bets! And by bets I mean Pledges for a good cause!

I propose that you guys come check back and laugh and cry with (at) me, and if you want you can pledge a donation to The Prison Yoga Project that you would be willing to donate if I see this little project of mine through. 

Come on! It's a win-win situation. You get to donate to an AMAZING cause (and most likely get a tax write off) AND help a quitter become a winner in time for her birfday! 


I'm not sure how this is going to work yet so details will follow shortly. I'm going to try to initiate some matching and a secure forum for donation. No worries kiddies, I will NOT be asking you to send any money or bank info to me for obvious reasons.


Anyway, I'm doing this self-appointed challenge at Sacred Brooklyn. If you live anywhere in the greater NYC area and haven't checked out Dara and the rest of the AMAZING Sacred family you really should be ashamed of yourself. 

They are the BEES KNEES!

Well that's all I've got for now. I'll check you guys tomorrow and let you know how it's shaking. Brace yourself.


Anyway...


Namaste and what not!